Dr Robbie P (dr_robbie_p) wrote in royal_society,
Dr Robbie P

A Journal -

SAH's! And Gentlemen. Quite obviously, the rumours of my demise at the hands (Or should I say Arse?) of a Siamese Elephant, have been greatly exaggerated! Master Jazzyjay did in fact deduct correctly, the Chinee Lady, which I have given all of the Gentlemen Members ample warning of, did in fact have her wires crossed! It is true that I was attacked by a Pack of Pachyderms, however as the good Doctor Hawkeye did point out, Gentleman, a man of my stature and bearing could not be brought down by a mere stampede of elephants.

As the Right Honourable Mr The Christian pointed out, my Cornish Disposition did allow me to forebear the pain of being trampled by the beasts and having seen upon the monsters backs, the tiny sub-humans of the Siam region, I did make the assumption that Myself, and Her Majesty's Expeditionary force, had been ambushed! I checked to see if any of my men had survived the attack and found only young Tom Bickerstaff, a lad of 16 years still breathing but unconscious. His leg had been crushed during the charge of the Elephant Brigade and a spear had pierced his belly. He was as good as dead. However, I put him about my shoulders, as if he were a ladies mink wrap and walked back to the last village we had passed.

3 days later, I arrived in the village to be greeted by the tribal inhabitants with fear and confusion! The Elephant Attackers had apperantly come that way and had taken the children of the village and killed the head man for helping out we of Her Majesties Expedition. I put down my burden, Tom, and realised that he had expired on the journey.

The Village women came to take him away, possibly to their pots for that nights meal, but I ordered them to stop. At my words they slinked back to their huts and I knelt over Tom. The spear that had pierced his belly was still protruding from his torso, I knelt and pulled it free. The shaft was wrapped in colourful silk ribbons, and I presented it to one of the villagers.

"What do these ribbons mean?" I asked. The man seemed not to comprehend so I asked again, but this time slower and louder. "WHAT. DO. THESE. RIBBONS. MEAN?" Still no comprehension. I surmised that these Sub-Humans had little or no intelligence, and were in fact more closely related to the monkeys of the forest than to we more civilized humans.

Then, one of the Villagers stepped forward and started to speak in their Gibbering language. He pointed to the spear, then pointed along a track leading south. He started to mimick some kind of large shambling animal which I took to be a bear. I yelled at him to stop making a fool of him self and he stopped, shook his head then proceeded to make swaying motions with his arm ptressed against his nose. I threw my arms up in the air at this nonsense and turned to leave, but the villager took hold of my person and frog marched me down the southern path for a few seconds before I came out of my shock, and saw what I had not noticed before.

"Stop you buffoon!" I cried, and brushed him off me. I knelt down on the path, and in the muddy track I could see large footprints, obviously from a very large, very heavy, four legged nature. Here you fool, this is what I'm looking for! The Tracks of the Elephants!" And with that I strode straightaway down tyhe track, heading south! I turned to my erstwhile companion who was standing, shaking his head. "Are you coming?" I asked. He shook his head once more then followed after me.

To be concluded...
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